the wait

"Hey, Elaine, what was it you were about to say to me on the plane when it was going down?"

Jerry had this half smirk, with his mouth kind of opened. She looked at him, breathless. She hoped he didn't remember that. Oh, what the hell, she thought.

"I've always loved you..." she began to say, with the tenderest smile. When she was about to pronounce the last world, she changed her mind; she wasn't dying anymore. They were probably going to get out of there in a few minutes, she thought. There was no way they were going to jail. And they would continue their empty little lives, dating wrong persons and talking about nothing. She couldn't bring this up like this. It would be the "this, that and the other" ultimatum all over again. As much as she wanted to say it, she couldn't afford to lose Jerry's friendship. So, before she would finish the pronunciation of the word 'you', she prolonged the sentence. "...nited Airlines."

Jerry's face was the face of an unconvinced man. Damn, she thought, he had understood what she meant. Without having another word, the jury entered the room, and the whole court was silently, waiting for the verdict.

"The jury defines the defenders... guilty!"

Suddenly there was nothing else in Elaine, or even Jerry's mind. They were going to jail.


As they walk by the police station, going back to the holding cell, there was an uncommon, uncomfortable silence between the four. Elaine was quiet, still unbelievable shocked. She, Elaine Marie Benes, such a good, decent person, was going to jail. She still couldn't believe it.

"Well, it's only a year. That's not so bad. We'll be out in a year, and then we'll be back" Jerry said, trying to light up his friends by being positive.

"Could be fun. Don't have to worry about your meals, or what you're going to do Saturday night." Kramer got way into the positive thought. He kept going, talking nonsense. As usual. "And they do shows. Yeah, we could put on a show - maybe "Bye Bye Birdie" or "My Fair Lady". Elaine, you could be Eliza Doolittle!"

"Why don't you just blow it out your ass" Elaine finally said, annoyed. She would play Eliza Doolittle on Kramer's face if he kept talking about doing shows on jail.

As they entered the small cell, she began to realize what her life would be like for the next year. That didn't help to make the annoyance go away. She then realized the things she had let opened in her life.

"If I call Jill from prison, do you think that would make up for the other ones? Cause you only get one call. The prison call is like the king of calls." She wondered out loud, trying to make at least one good thing come out of this mess.

"I think that would be a very nice gesture", Jerry replied.

Kramer started to jump on one foot again, like he did on the plane. "I got it - it's out! How about that, huh? Oh, boy, what a relief."

Jerry, Elaine and George just looked at him, and Kramer understood; they could kill with their looks.

"See now, to me, that button is in the worst possible spot."

Oh, great. Everything that Elaine needed: small talk about nothing. As she looked to George and Jerry, discussing whether they had the same conversation god knows how long ago, it hit her how bad things were going to be.

"Who the hell cares about the stupid second button?" Elaine yelled, her annoyance at its best.

"Wow, calm down, Grumpy, what is wrong with you?" Jerry looked at her, annoyed with her annoyance.

The police officer went to the cell before she could reply. He had this dumb face, like he had done a great job by putting the New York Four behind the bars.

"Okay, now, I'll be getting you to your permanent cells one by one, in alphabetic order. Just to make sure you weirdos don't get cells right next to each other" he added, answering the four pair of eyes that looked surprised at him. "Constanza, you first!" He laughed.

George looked at the rest of them, desperation emanating from his small eyes. "We... we... we're not going to be together? I'll... please tell me there are separate cells. Like, one cell for each person! Please!" As the officer smiled, showing all his teeth, George was in shock. All the police station was enjoying all that, apparently. He got up, and followed the officer.

"I guess.. I'll see you around?" Before he left the hall, he looked back, with terror in his eyes. He was pushed out of the hall.

 “Boy, this will be brutal for George.” Kramer commented. “You’re screwed, my friend!” He yelled at George, laughing.

And then there were three.


Kramer was sitting next to Jerry, and had started to talk again about how this would be the time of their lives. "You know... We may end up loving this place! Yeah, look, it will be great! Making new friends, having free time on our hands... Oh, this will be wonderful Jerry! Wonderful!"

Elaine couldn't take it anymore; she got up and pushed Kramer, making him fall from the bench.  "Shut up! Shut up!" She kept pushing him, and as Kramer started to jump on the floor, like a fish when it's pulled out of water, Jerry got up and hold her arms as she had an angry attack.

"Hey, hey, hey, Elaine, ELAINE! What is your problem?"

The same police officer heard noises, and came back. "What is happening over here? C'mon, Kramer, you're next." Another laugh.

Kramer got up, still with the popped eyes, and looked over. "Uh, bye-bye" he said, swinging his fingers at his friends. And then, he put an arm around the officer "You know, I think we could be good friends around here, even share a good laughs!" And gave one of those weird laughs of his.

The police man looked at him, and took him by the collar. "No small talk, let's go". Kramer was pushed all the way until the end of the hall.

Elaine sat again in the bench, looking at the floor. Jerry sat in front of her, trying to figure out why she was so altered. "So, just the two of us huh. Weird, he said he was going to take us by alphabetic order... You should have gone first, right? Benes, before Constanza."

"Ugh, Jerry, don't you get it? I'm a woman."

Jerry smirked at her. "You know, I think I figured that out a while ago, when we started going out." Oh, the comedian could be arrested, but the humor could never get between bars. Too bad this was not a good time to make jokes.

"Are you stupid, Jerry? I will be going to another place. You three idiots may not be on the same cells, but at least you'll see each other. I'll be locked for good, one year, with all of those... women." Her voice got sharpen by the end of the sentence.

"Wait.. you're saying that me, and George, and Kramer will stay in one place..." he used his arms to talk, pointing to the right, and then to the left. It was a sort of indication that he was nervous. "...and you stay at other?"


"For a whole year? We don’t get to see you, and you don't get to see us for a year?" He was truly confused.

"Yes. I'm a woman. Women have different prisons. You were really expecting us to be at the same jail, all together? God, Jerry, you're an idiot." She said, half a smile in her face, still looking down.

"I guess I didn't even think about it. Geez, Elaine..." he sat right next to her, and put his hand on her back "I'm sorry. I... I don't know what to say."

"Yeah... Me neither. How could this happen? We were going to Paris. Paris, Jerry! We were going to have the time of our lives. And now I'm going to a place where... and you are screwed too. You're thin and neat and... Oh, Jerry, we’re both screwed!"

They both laughed. Elaine looked at him, thinking she would miss having him around. He looked back at her, and she knew he would miss her too.

"You know, Kramer was kind of right. It is just one year. Counting from today, so one day is already gone. And there’s the sleeping time, the eating time.. it will be more like 4 months, really. It will be over sooner than you think."

She smiled again. And then she realized. "Oh God, Kramer. I won't see him for a year! And I was pushing him and..."

"Hey, it's okay. It's Kramer. He was driving me nuts too." He rubbed her back, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

The officer came back one more time.

"Seinfeld, your turn. Ms. Benes, the representing of the women's prison will pick you up in half an hour."

Jerry got up, and was starting to leave the small cell. Elaine suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, Jerry? What was it that you were going to say to me on the plane?"

He stopped walking, looked back, and smiled for a moment. "Oh... I was going to say that I love United Airplanes, too."

She smiled,watching him disappear in the hall, and stayed there, sitting alone on the bench.

Jerry was right: it would be over soon.

grief for the living
in the first nights, he could easily hear her sobs; they were the only sound in the dark. he didn't know what to say, or even what to do. what in the world could make the pain of losing a son go away?

it was true, william wasn't dead. but the thought of never seeing your child again was pretty much the same, especially for dana scully - the woman who had given everything up. her career, her family, her own beliefs and even her child - all to seek the 
truth. to become a outsider with him. only to find out that the truth wasn't that charming. he didn't know what to say, so he just stood there, by her side. like he always did. like he always would.

she cried every night for a long time.
"what do you think he's doing?" she asks, her hands entwined with his.

"i think.." he pauses, his lips half-opened, letting the moonlight dip his profile. "i think he's sleeping. it's almost 3am, after all."

he tries to be funny, but funny doesn't fit the fact, funny doesn't fit their conversations so much lately.

"fuck, mulder. i'm serious." she stops for a minute. "do you think he's happy?"

he looks at her, and notices a single tear formed in the corner of her eye. he catches it with his thumb before it falls, and strokes her cheek. 

"i want to believe he is. i want to believe that he runs around his house everyday, playing with little toys. i want to believe he sings and jumps and laughs and makes all kinds of questions. i want to believe he has your smile." he swallows. it's hard for him to talk about it. 

she looks at him, her blue eyes now full of tears, and smiles. "i want, too. but i can't help thinking..."

his thumb goes directly to her mouth, making it impossible to her to finish her sentence. 


if it's hard for him, it's even worst for her.


"he would have turned seven today", she whispers while having dinner.

the mood of the room becomes ten times darker. he blinks at her, the information hitting him like a punch in the face. for a few moments, the only sound that they can hear is the silverware scrapping on their plates.

"he is turning seven, scully." he drinks his water, trying to look calm. but his voice sounds uncertain.

"you don't know that."

he didn't. neither of them did. 

the lack of information had made them go slightly insane over the years. they had lived at total distance from the rest of the world.  scully had taken a job at a near hospital, more for her sanity than for the money, but that was it for her. as for mulder... he had lived in a total isolation. that was the price to pay, he guessed. it was a very high price.

"you're right, i don't. he could be dead right now." she gasps, incredulously with his affirmation. she opens her mouth, willing to arguement against that cruel statement, but he continues to speak before she has the chance to say something. "but he could be alive, and happy, and healthy as well. so why do you have to think the worst?" 

"because the worst is usually what happens to us! look at our lives, mulder. my sister, your father, your mother, our careers, our son. everything was taken away from us. do you think this isn't the worst?" 

he didn't move. he had no answer for that. because it was all true. 

her eyes were full of tears, but there was a darkness there too. the look in her face, the despair, made him realize for the first time how much she had changed over these last couple of years. she wasn't yelling at him, her tone was intense, but calm; it would be better if there were some yelling, in his opinion.

he takes a deep breathe. "i'm not saying... i'm just.. we gotta have hope, scully. it's what makes me want to get out of bed every day. hope that the future will be better for us. hope that our son is growing up, and will someday be a good man."

the tears started to fall once more. she brushes them, quickly. she didn't like to be weak. she couldn't afford that. he took her in his arms, hugging her tight.

"we gotta have hope, scully. it's the only way."

she knows he's right. she's still fighting her tears; he strokes her head. she finally loses it, and sobs into his arms.

"i just miss him so much."

they stay there for a long time.

after all, the only thing that wasn't taken away from them are each other.

let's go back to the start

A single tear falls as she bends to say the final goodbye to her friend, her mentor, the person she most trusted in her entire life. The greatest wizard of all times. She whispers softly his name against her cracked, thin lips. "Albus", she sighs.

Minerva stares at the cold, dead body standing next to her. She touches his face gently, running her fingers slowly through his wrinkles. She tries to arrange his half-moon spectacles on that crooked nose. She looks at his peaceful face, trying not to break into tears. Even though she was alone in the room, Minerva McGonagall didn't like to show her weakness. Not even to him.

She takes a final look at that pale face, already missing those eyes that once shone like cold blue flames. She puts her shaking hands in her mouth, and looks away. 

It's too painful to see the man she secretly loved for almost 50 years lying still in front of her.

A man knocks on the door. "It's time", he says.

It's even more painful to watch as his body is led to his grave.


She doesn't let a week pass without visiting his final rest. She never forgets. And how could she?

She only stands right next to the white marble sarcophagus, looking at the view. Sometimes she only spends a couple minutes in there, and other times she can stay for hours. Rarely saying anything. Their entirely relationship was based on non-spoken conversations. She wouldn't change that now. 

But she never leaves without making a white lilies bouquet on his grave.


She enters in the Headmaster's office. Even after the reconstruction of the castle, the office stays the same. It's like he was never gone. She walks in, looking at everything, reliving every moment shared with him. She finally takes sit in his chair, and looks around. That was her office now.

"Minerva?", she hears someone calling. Turning around, she faces those deep blue eyes shinning through the half-moon spectacles. Her own eyes fills with tears, and she smiles. Through the portrait, she sees his smiling too.

"I knew you would be here someday."

She wasn't alone anymore, after all. She had found her friend again

all things missing
"Well, that says a lot. Says a lot, lot, lot. Probably more than we should get in to in this late hour"

He felt a warm breathe on his shoulder, and then he looked at her. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face, touching gently the soft skin of her cheek. God, she was beautiful.
The conversation they had just before she fell asleep still was in his head. What if there is only one choice, and all the other ones were wrong? If Scully's theory was right, then they were suppose to be there, at that very moment. One wrong turn, and they wouldn't be sitting in his room, together. One wrong turn along the way could had change everything. Was that fate's way to say that they were exactly where they were suppose to be?

He kept watching her sleep. He could still feel her breathing on him. It felt so right. Then he stared at her mouth and her perfect lips for a moment. His first extincts were telling him to get through, to cross the line they were avoiding in the past 7 years. He took a blanket and covered her. There was this part of his brain that was hipnotized by her. But the other part, the rational one, was telling him the opposite. After all, Scully was all he had. She was all that had left for him, the only thing -besides, maybe, the truth -in his life that was worth fighting for. Once he crossed that line, he could lose it all.

He stared at her for another final moment, and get off his couch. "Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason", she said to him sooner that night. She was probably right.


She woke up about 30 minutes after he left the couch, confused. It took some moments to realize where she actually was. She was in Mulder's place, in the middle of the night, sleeping. She remembered that she went to his place to tell him what happened in the past two days. But she didn't tell him everything. She was too scared about her revelation, about what she learned in the Budda Temple, even to say in out loud. The feelings that she tried to avoit for so long, made itself more real than never. How could she tell him something that she wasn't even sure she could tell herself?

She passed her hands in her neck. Even though she didn't slept more than 40 minutes in the couch, the discomfort came quickly. She then noticed the blanked that was envolving her, and smiled for a little moment in the dark, thinking how sweet Mulder was. She looked around the apartment, looking for him. "Don't be stupid", she said to herself. He was obviously sleeping in his room. She didn't want to wake him, but she also thought it would be rude to walk away without saying anything. She went to the bathroom, and looked at her mirror reflection. She didn't liked what she saw. After all she had been trhought in those two days, it would be expected that she had made some mental balance of her life. Now all she could see was a woman in his work partner's apartment, in the middle of the night, all alone. Even though Mulder was so much more than a partner..

She got distracted by the sound of the dripping sink, and didn't realize that her reflected image wasn't alone anymore.

"You woke up." He said, with a half smile in his face.

"And you're not sleeping." She couldn't help but smile too.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Mulder, it's late, go back to sleep. I don't want to mess up your sleeping schedule or anything, I'm just gonna go home and-" He didn't even let her finish.

"You know me too well to know that I don't have a sleeping schedule since... well, never. C'mon, let's drink some coffee. I wasn't sleeping anyway."

They went to the kitchen, and he started to make coffee.

"So, now you're believing in Budda and all of this indian stuff?" He just wanted to return to that conversation. He just wanted that moment back.

She smiled. "I won't believe in a whole new religion just because I had some kind of vision in a temple." He passed her a mug with fresh coffee. She tasted; it was not bad at all. "But this whole experience made me see some things that I wasn't able to see before."

She sat in a chair, and took another sip. Mulder stared at her, backed in the kitchen sink, with his own mug in his hand. He was curious, but he didn't want her to feel obligate to tell him anything. But he also didn't want her to think he was disinterested. "Like what?"

She took a long breath. "Like the fact that, untill I see Daniel in his hospital bed, with only a daughter with a huge sorrow, I did not realized that I'm a lonely woman. Just like him.. or even worse. I don't have a family. My brother and I barely talk, my sister was murdered with a gunshot that was suppose to be for me, my so called friends don't understand my job or my life choices, and I can't even be the one thing that I want the most.. a mother."

A single tear fell from her eyes. She wiped it quickly, and started to pass her fingers in the mug's nozzle. She didn't know why she said all of this to him. It was something that was bugging her, of course, something that was scaring her. She never said that in out loud before, even more to someone... and at the same time, she felt comfortable to share with him. He took another chair and sat right at her side, and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

"You know", she continued. "Once I said that loneliness is a choice.. but what if it isn't?" She looked down to her mug.

"I think that both of us choose the road least travelled", Mulder said, slowly. "That way doesn't allow us to be surronded with people. But you're not alone, Scully.. and you're definitely not lonely." He raised her chin with his hand, making her look directly on his eyes. His gorgeous green eyes.

"You have me. You will always have me."

They were so close that was possible to feel each other's breath. She felt tears forming in her eyes, but she didn't care. She was hipnotized by his touch, by his eyes. She smiled, and the tears that were in her eyes fell to her cheek. He wiped it, stroking her cheeks for the second time in that night. They gazed for a moment that it seemed to last forever. He pulled her into a hug, and she passed her hands around his neck. He smelt her hair, and closed his eyes for a moment.

She put her hands in his face then, and they gazed for another minute. Their foreheads touched, and they kept looking at each other. She kissed his forehead, slowly, closing her eyes for a moment, but still with her hands on his neck. Their foreheads touched again. He wanted more, so more. But he didn't make a move; his eyes were still on her's. She kissed one of his cheeks. She didn't care about hiding her feelings anymore. They were there, together. They both feel the same way about each other, and they knew it. She looked at him, and delicately pressed her lips on his.

The sparkle rushed all of her body, and his too. They finally closed their eyes, enjoying the moment. There was no bee, there was no rush, no obligation. He pulled her closer to him, closer to his body, while his hands were in her waist. It felt incredible right. It felt incredible good. It felt like it was exactly where they were suppose to be.

After what could have been just a moment, on an eternity, they stop kissing. Mulder stood up, took a long breath and looked at her. "Are you sure?" he whispered. Scully looked at him; she was also breathless She stood up, right in front of him. "I've never been so sure."

She kissed him with passion, an different kiss that they had before, intense, torrid. Her hands were all over his hair, her lips all over his own lips. He pressed her body against his, with his hands on her hips.

No longer than that, they were in his bedroom, undressing each other. Their hands were everywhere, feeling each other, exploring each other. They didn't want to miss a moment. They wouldn't miss a moment. He kissed her slowly, and she moaned, while her arms brought him closer to her. Their bodies fitted perfectly, and they were no longer two. They had become one.


The first lights of the morning woke her up. She looked around, making sure it wasn't just a dream, that last night was real. Her head was in his cheast, his arms were around her.

"Mulder?" her voice was the only thing breaking the silence of the room, that was a mixed of light and shadow, light and dark. She put her chin on his cheast. "Mulder, are you awake?"

"Hmm?" He oppened his eyes, and looked at her. He started to pass his fingers in her back, slowly.

"Do you believe this was the right choice?"

He looked at her for a long time, confused. "Don't you?"

"Mulder, don't get me wrong. I am not regret of anything. Is just that.." she stopped for a minute. "I'm afraid things will change."

He brushed the hair of her face. "Scully..."

"You are all I have, Mulder. You're the only constant in my life. I don't wanna risk to lose you. I don't wanna risk to lose everything we are. Because what we are, what we have..." She put her hand in his face, stroking his cheeks. "It's too precious to be lost."

"Nothing will change, I promess." He kissed the top of her head, and hugged her. "And if you don't wanna put everything on risk, you can walk away in the morning and pretend that all of this never happened, and I'll do the same. It's up to you Scully."

She pressed her lips gently on his, and lay her head down to his cheast again. "Thank you", she whispered. He passed his hands in her hair, making delicated moves with his fingers.

"For what?"

"For being my partner." She closed her eyes, and they held each other like it was the last time.


She got dressed in the bathroom. The sound of the ceiling fan that was spinning, and the dripping sink was the only thing that she could hear it. She looked at herself in the mirror, fixed her hair, still unsure of what to do.

"Time passes in moments; moments which, rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed.

She looked thoughtfully at him for the last time, then walked quietly out of the room.

"But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And, seeing those choices, choose another path?"


His shaking hands rest in the knob for a moment. He takes a deep breath, and look at his foot. He stares at the lonely shadow that stands right next to him. A shadow that for so long have always had a partner, to share everything with. It takes him a few minutes to recover the conscience. He looks at the door and finally opens it, and the view hits him like a lightning.
George feels like falling into a whole.

He sits in a bed, in ihis/i bed, and just look around. Pain comes fast, and he can't do nothing but feel it. He watches the pictures moving slowly, over and over again; he doesn't remember taking a picture alone, and he's glad he didn't. He looks at his brother's smile, that quirk smile that always was there to confort him. He takes the portrait in his cold hands, passes his fingers through every centimeter of the picture. He stares at it until it becomes to painful, and then throws it against the door. Shattered glasses are now scattered all over the floor. What a ironic coincidence; so is his soul.

Rage. Pain. Sorrow.

Feelings that you can only understand if you've been through a war. Feelings that you can only understand if you didn't come out of it entirely alive. And he feels it all.

One, two, three punches in the wall. Three more. A trace of blood is getting printed in the pale wallpaper, and he doesn't care. He doesn't know how to deal it, he really doesn't want to. He closes his eyes, trying to remember him. Remember life before this nightmare. But all he sees is the cold, palid, lifeless face of the man who has been with him his whole life. George can't stand that image. He needs to remember good things. He can't let his brother become a ghost of a war; he have to remind their good moments. He needs to. He depends on it.

As he passes his hand on his face, he finds it all wet, covered with tears. He punches the wall one more time. The blood is pretty visible now. It isn't fair; all he wants is to be complete again. All he wants is Fred right next to him.

George can't stand being in that room anymore. He closes the door, and sits against it. Hands over his face, he drown himself in grief. After spending his whole life doing jokes, he's allowed to be sore.

He notices his shadow, one more time. How he wished that shadow wasn't his.

thicker than blood; a clove/cato fic

She scratches the blood under her nails frenetically, trying to take it off, with some sick despair in her face. The blood, who was all over her clothes, her neck, her hands, even in her mouth. Blood of innocent children.

Blood. So much blood.

Clove doesn't realize at first, but by scratching her nails in the stones, she had started to bleed herself. Mixing her blood with the dry ones, from the other tributes she had killed that day. And she keeps doing it, feeling the pain, enjoying it. Until another pair of hands holds her own firmly. Looking up, she meet a pair of bright blue eyes, looking directly at her. She fights him, trying to continue.

'I'm a warrior, I must be strong' she whispers to herself, fighting the tears, fighting the feelings, fighting with Cato to continue the scratching. Fighthing with her own mind. She had been trainned for this. She had been trainned to kill her whole life. Why was she feeling like this?

Cato continues to hold her wrists, until she completely stops. She expects him to mock her, like he always does. But his face isn't smiling, and she understands that the same question is floating in their minds. He let go of her wrists, but never stop looking directly at her. "I know. I know. Don't think about it now. Let the regrets for when one of us is a victor, and the other one is underground."

And so she does. But his words justs makes her even more terrified. Terrified to be killed by him. Terrified to kill him.

Terrified to think that this is their only destiny.


"Under the new rule, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners, if they are the last two alive."

The taste of sweat and blood are all over his lips, but there's something else, too. Desire. He's hungry for her, and he's hungry for victory as well.

Their bodies are entwined, as close as possible, and her head is spinning. They could be killed anytime, with their wapons down, and they couldn't care less at that moment.

They finally break the kiss, breathless. She cleans her mouth with the back of her hands. A malicious smile is forming in the corner of her mouth, and Cato realizes what she means. He smiles too. The vulnerable Clove is gone, and the real one is here again. Ready to do whatever it takes to get them to the top.

The warrior is back.

They share a last look before start walking, silently. They don't need to talk. Both have the same thought.

Let's kill everyone and get out of here.


"Cato! Cato!"

She screams, as loudly as she can, and hopes he listen. She doesn't see when the Thresh makes the deathly move, she doesn't see the rock hitting her temples. Clove feels pain for a second, and then she doesn't feel anything anymore. The brave warrior, the girl who minutes ago was seeking for the girl on fire's blood, is gone.

She's numb. Lying dead on the ground.

Cato runs as fast as he can, trying not to think in the worst. Only when he sees her body, he breaks it. "Stay with me. Stay with me Clove!" he shouts, and a little voice in his head knows that there's no one listening anymore.

She's numb, and so is he.


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